You know that a fight or an argument is stupid and is fueled by feelings irrelevant to the subject of the fight when you can't remember what it was about in the first place or how it even started , and at some point you have to accept that some problems you can't solve you just have to try to ignore them and minimize there effect on your life , love and death or tow of the few absolutes in life , and the pain that death or love from one side is like AIDS it's incurable , but you can learn to live with it , and at some point you have to really accept that and stop repeating words and realizing in the middle of an argument that your making a rerun out of your life , I'm tired of fighting and I have to accept the fact that he will never love me and try to make the best out of the time that i have left with him .
It's odd how long we carry unnecessary burdens around . hoping that time will heal us! . time heals nothing we have to gather the courage to look at our infected and neglected wounds and care for them and work to heal them . we both had difficult childhoods , I have a very bad father , he has hurt me and my family a lot , and though i still live with him i'm emotionally disconnected from him so can't really hurt me a lot now .but i had carried the huge pain and many insecurities with me from that relation ship , my inner dialog is self destructive and I realize that i have to change that , being a victim is a choice and I should choose to be victorious instead , i should take matters in my hand and care more for my self . I learned that from him , can you see why I love him so much ?