In Arab literature it is said " there are four kinds of people : those who know and know that they know , those who know and don't know that they know , those who don't know but know that they don't know and finally those who don't know and think that they know " .
Some times you think you understand something , you think you can even control it , and then when it hits you in the face and you Finally do understand it , you discover your ignorance . That's exactly how it is when any one who has never been in love thinks he understands it . going into this relationship I said that I wasn't looking for love , and that i was ok with the other person not wanting love in this relationship , apparently i was talking about something that i was clue_less about .
It has been less than a month since I've known this man , i saw him almost every day , talked and texted several times a day , he knew almost every thing about me , and i knew so much about him , he became a major part of my life in such a short time , and i thought of him a lot , missed him like crazy , worried , yearned to please him , i felt his heart , he touched me from the inside , i never felt safer in my life than with him , i was feeling some thing towards him , i didn't know what to call it , and i didn't want to call it love , he felt it and told me that he didn't want things to get too emotional and that he didn't want to break the boundaries he has put for tis relationship because he knew how this is going to end when we move on with our lives and he planned to do so in the end , to move on and get married to a woman , to ease his fears about this being love , as i my self didn't want to believe it was , i wrote him a poem , when i read it to him his reaction was mild i now understand that he doesn't like talking about our feelings , this is the poem :
I wish he felt the same
I wish he only knew
how i feel in his arms
I wish he had no rules
Why is he either a friend or a husband
Why put every thing in a mold
Why can't we just let our feelings be
Why can't he leave us uncalled
Yet I might be telling too much now
For somethings are better left untold
And i know most of what i say is out of fear
Fear of loneliness , fear of loss
So no i wish not he felt the same
And i only have my self to blame
If he's pushed away by my fears
And he looks down and smiles
At the silliness of me
Yet still he lets me be
where i always want to be
right there , in his arms ...